The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

       I remember an incident when I was in junior high and we were picking teams for a game of volleyball during our physical education class. The captains took turns picking their teams and there were people that were picked last. Usually the girls and players that were not as athletic as others were picked last. I remember one girl in particular being picked towards the end. I guess to the captains she did not appear to be athletic. As each player was called you could tell her feelings were being hurt more and more. I felt bad for her. I knew they were implying she was not a good player, because she was a girl. You could tell they did not want her on their team. On one level I think the captains would need to change how they picked teams in order for it to be fair. I think picking teams always ends up hurting someone’s feelings and creates opportunities for prejudice, biases, and/or oppression to occur. I think the best way to prevent prejudice, biases, and oppression from occurring in situations like this is for the coach to divide the teams. I think this can be done prior to the students getting to class and that way it will seem more random and students are not standing in front of each other seeing other players chosen before them. I was never athletic and so I could relate to this girl. I did not care that I was picked last, because I knew I was not very good. For some people this was very hurtful and could cause oppression for them.

         I also think situations like this are going to take place, but can be dealt with in a better way. I think this would be a great opportunity for the coach to address how everyone has different talents and skills. Some players might be better at volleyball, while other students are better at something else. Our coaches/teacher did try to include a variety of activities that would provide students with opportunities to learn what activities they were better at and enjoyed more.

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

This week I observed people’s interactions and tried to detect examples of microaggression. I really did not know what to expect in the beginning. I was at a local fast food restaurant and noticed a lady in front of me ordering several meals. The man at the register said “wow, someone must be hungry”. The lady placing the order did not say anything, only looked down towards the ground. I noticed as she was getting into her car with her order, that she had a car full of people. People are quick to judge people based on their size and/or appearance. The message the cashier sent to the lady was that she eats a lot of food. I felt like he was insinuating that she should not be eating that much food. I felt bad for her; because I could tell he hurt her feelings. I do not think the cashier intended to insult her or assume anything, but his words and behavior were disrespectful and hurtful.

After observing people in public situations, I realized how often people discriminate against others. I do not think people intend to be prejudice or stereotypical towards others, but their actions and behaviors definitely impact those around them. This exercise was definitely an eye opener for me.

Perspectives on Divsersity and Culture

I asked a colleague, a friend, and a family member the definition of diversity and culture. They each did not respond right away. They were trying to think about how they would answer my question.

My friend answered with culture and diversity are defined by a person’s religion, ethnicity, lifestyle, and values. People are influenced by the details of their life – the past and present.

My colleague responded with culture is defined by how a person behaves and their beliefs based on where a person lives. Diversity is the differences in people. People are different based on economic status, race, gender, and religion.

My family member said that culture and diversity defines oneself. We are all diverse and from different cultures. Culture is defined as one’s religion, beliefs, race, and gender. Culture is the things that influence a person such as traditions and where they live. Diversity is simply what makes people different from each other.  A variety of things determine how we are diverse from each other.

I think all these definitions are accurate on some level, but culture and diversity are a combination of these definitions. I have learned that culture and diversity is more than what we can see about a person. Culture is a person’s traditions, beliefs, religion, gender, race, values, and their lifestyle. Diversity is how we are different defined by one’s culture and the many things that define our culture. Two people from the same family are diverse based on their personal experiences, values, and gender. One example is a friend and her siblings are from the same family, but they moved to different states. They each make different salaries and live different lifestyles.

Listening to others define and reflect on culture and diversity really supports how everyone is different and how we are defined by these differences. We all value our culture and how it impacts our lives.

My Family Culture

      Three items that I would choose in the event of an emergency are my Bible, my family photo album, and a family quilt. I would choose the Bible, because it is a major part of who I am, how I was raised, and how I want my children to be raised. My faith, religion, and culture come from God and His blessings in my life. I feel it is important to teach my children and others about God’s promises and His word. I would take my family photo album, because there are numerous pictures of relatives and important events in the photo album. I feel these pictures help explain who we are based on our past and our family’s past. The photos capture memories of relatives who are no longer living so that we can share stories about them with our children. The photos also capture memories of births, birthdays, holidays, vacations, and other special events that explain who we are as a family and our culture. The third item I would take is a quilt that my mother-in-law hand made and then gave to my husband. This quilt is compiled of 12 different squares. She created this quilt where every square is a scene and tells a story about her family and childhood. For example, one of the squares on the quilt is a scene from her childhood where she attended a small country church.  Below each square is a sewn description that explains the scene such as who is involved and where it took place. I want to pass this quilt on to my children because it captures who their grandmother is and has memories about family we never knew. It helps explain how and where she grew up. It is a beautiful quilt that demonstrates her talent and is part of my family's culture.

      If upon arrival I was told I could only keep one of these three items, then I would feel as if they were taking part of my culture  away from me. I would feel that they did not value who I was or my family culture. It would be very difficult to pick only one item and leave the other things behind.

      The insight I gained from this exercise is that my values, beliefs, and family are very important to me. I thought it was difficult to only choose three items to take with me to represent my family culture. There are other items that I feel are important and I hope never to be put in that position. Things that I feel are most important are things that capture memories from the past and describe who we are as a family. I would choose items that helped explain to others who I am, who my family is and was. We all take pride in sharing with others about our family and culture, because they make up who we are.

My Supports

Emotional Supports

        I have many supports that help me emotionally. My religion/faith help me function and cope daily knowing that God created me and that He is there for all my needs. When times are hard, then I know I count on God to get me through and I know that I have Him to thank for all the blessings in my life. My family and friends are there for me as well not only emotionally, but also for practical and physical supports. My husband is by my side through the good and bad times and supports me whether I am upset, happy, angry, or need that extra push. My children support me by offering me love and compassion. They believe in me and support me by offering encouragement. My grandparents, parents, siblings, and in-laws all support me through love and encouragement. My friends care about me, encourage me, and will also listen when I just need to vent.

        Without the support of my faith, all my family, and many friends, then I could live but it would not be a pleasant life. I feel I would be depressed and very isolated. They help me remain grounded. I feel their support influences who I am and how I live. I feel without them by my side, then I would just function and not really enjoy life and all life has to offer. I feel when problems arise, then I would not know how to handle those problems in a positive way if it were not for the love, support, and encouragement I receive from my family, friends, and faith.

Practical Supports

        I have many practical supports that help make my life easier every day. I consider things such as technology, appliances, transportation, and tools to be practical supports. Technology is a big part of my daily life. I use my cell phone to communicate with family, friends, and others. I use it to contact professionals or other resources that I need or want. Transportation helps me get to my job, the grocery store, etc. Appliances help me cook and clean. Various tools such as grocery lists, “to do” lists, daily planners, books, etc. help me to remember important times, dates, items, etc. Monetary supports help me purchase wants and needs to live and function on a daily basis.

        Without these practical supports it would be difficult to live and function. If I did not have a reliable car to get me places, then I would not be able to work, get to places to purchase things I need, go to the doctor, travel to people and places, etc. If I did not use appliances, then it would be harder to cook and clean. Long ago people would cook and clean by hand and I can only imagine how difficult it was to provide the basics for their families. If it were not for technology then, I would not be able to communicate with people in my life on a regular basis. Technology helps me know how my family and friends are doing almost instantly when I am not with them. They can call, text, or email me things that are taking place in their lives. Technology helps me learn new things, receive emails, read about the news, and even shop. We could live without these supports, but it would just take longer and we would be limited in what resources we had access to. Before technology people would travel to the library to use their various resources. If I did not use lists, planners, etc., then I know I would end up forgetting something. These types of supports help me to remember important things and take stress off of me in trying to remember things.  If I did not have money, then I could not purchase foods, clothes, water, etc. My personal safety, health, hygiene, and luxuries (such as entertainment) would be at risk without money as a support.

Physical Supports

        I have been blessed with my physical health. I am able to talk, see, hear, touch, walk, smell, etc. My physical body works like it should in order to perform daily tasks. I am able to hear people, noises, birds chirping, music, etc. I am able to taste and enjoy foods. I am able to use my brain to think for myself. I am able to see what is going on around me, read a book, and enjoy watching every day events. I am able to feed myself, communicate for myself, and perform other physical daily tasks without the assistance of others.

        If any of these were unable to be used, then my daily life would be more difficult. If I could not hear, then I would struggle to understand things or people around me. I would have to learn to understand what people were trying to tell me through other supports such as sight. It would be difficult to function day to day.

        I tried to imagine the challenge of being deaf. It would be difficult to communicate with others and understand what others were trying to communicate with me. It would be hard to learn at school, have friends, and enjoy every day life experiences. It would be difficult to have a job as an adult. I would need support in communicating with others. The person would need to either know sign language or be able to write or gesture what they were trying to explain/tell me. I would need to be able to process the information. I would not have knowledge of things such as music, normal every day sounds, etc. I would have to use my other senses to support my awareness of things occurring around me. One example would be that if I was walking down the road, there was a car coming, then I would need to use my sense of sight to know to be on alert. Daily life would be more of a challenge and I would have to rely on other supports whether it be myself, other people, or tools to help me function in life.

My Connections to Play

“Children learn as they play. Most importantly, in play children learn how to learn.” ~ O. Fred Donaldson (martial arts master)

“It is in playing, and only in playing, that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and it is only in being creative that the individual discovers the self.” ~ D.W. Winnicott (British pediatrician)

Play is important for a child’s growth and development. I usually participated in social play and/or fantasy play.  Social play helped me to develop empathy for others and helped me learn social rules (Wardle, n.d.). I can remember how my mother encouraged me to play and use my imagination when I was little. My siblings and I would play outside, running, and exploring. We would meet up with friends and have big adventures.

I also remember playing house and having baby dolls. At times I would pretend to be the mom. I had a chalkboard and books where I would pretend to be the teacher. I think pretending to be different characters and role playing gave me many opportunities to learn about how the world works and how to socialize with others. I learned how to solve problems and would play out the roles of different people.

I feel play is different today than it was when I was a child. One big difference is that I feel children’s play time often revolves around technology. I enjoyed going outside and playing with my siblings and friends. Children today spend a great deal of their time playing video games. I think technology can be beneficial in a child’s learning, but it needs to be limited and supervised. I feel children today spend less time outside getting to really explore their world. Another way I feel play is different today is that children do not use their imaginations as much. Toys today are more realistic than they were when I was a child. I remember playing with dolls and pretending they would talk, cry, sleep, and eat. Today dolls are more realistic and actually move and make noises like a baby. I can remember decorating a box to look like a house and spending hours playing and using my imagination.

Play was an important part of my childhood that impacted my life even as an adult. I feel exploring my world allowed me to discover first-hand how things worked and helped me to learn how to solve problems. Learning was more meaningful when I experienced it for myself. If someone told me what to do and how to do it, then I really did not learn first-hand. Play helped me to grow and develop socially, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

References:

Wardle, F. (n.d.). Play as curriculum.  Retrieved from http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlychildhood/article_view.aspx?ArticleID=127

Relationship Reflection

Relationships

     Relationship is defined as “the state of being related or interrelated” according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. There are various types of relationships such as professional relationships with coworkers, relationships with friends, family members, and students. Depending on the people in the relationship will determine the type of relationship it is. Relationships are important to me because they demonstrate a connection with others. I feel relationships are beneficial because they offer a bond between me and the other person. Relationships are based upon feelings such as feelings of love, acceptance, respect, trust, belonging, and joy.

    The most positive and strongest relationships are with the people in my family. I have been happily married to my husband for 17 years. I feel our relationship is based on many characteristics. Our relationship is based on love, friendship, trust, honesty, appreciation, support, communication, and respect. The relationships with my children are different, but they are still based on the same characteristics.  The parent-child relationship is different because our children depend on us for their needs and wants. They need us to teach and guide them. They need us to believe in them and encourage them just as my parents did for me. Relationships with my siblings are different. I have a different relationship with my brothers compared to the relationships I have with my sisters, but they are still based on love, trust, friendship, and respect.  One example is that my sisters and I talk about certain things, whereas my brothers and I talk about different things. I consider all the relationships I have with my family members to be important.

     I have strong relationships with my friends. We trust, communicate, respect, and support each other. I also have positive relationships with the adults and children I work with as a pre-k teacher. The relationship I have with my co-workers is different based on whether or not the person is an administrator or a fellow teacher. I also have relationships with my students and their parents. All these relationships are based on respect, understanding, trust, and support. My students and their parents need to understand that I care about them and support them. They need to know that I am there for them and want them to succeed.

     I think all positive relationships are based on several factors and characteristics. I feel trust, support, honesty, respect, understanding, acceptance and communication are important in every relationship. I think all relationships have challenges. Sometimes it is hard to accept a person for their differences in personality, opinions, or beliefs. I feel sometimes it is hard to remain objective and professional when another person’s attitudes go against our own. I think in order to have a positive relationship then we need to remember people are different and learn to appreciate each other for these differences.

     I think my relationships as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend help me to build positive relationships as an early childhood professional. I know how important it is to feel accepted, loved, trusted, and supported. I understand these feelings help build a positive relationship with others. I can remember teachers who supported me and believed in me. Their relationship with me had long term effects on me personally and academically. My students and their parents need to understand I accept them, support them, and want the best for them. Elva deLuna, Head Start early childhood specialist, discussed the importance of relationships with students and the parents (Laureate Education Inc., 2010). The students and parents need to trust me. I need to listen and communicate with them to build those positive relationships. A positive relationship with the student and the parent is going to help impact how much they trust me and whether or not they want to learn. If a parent does not trust me or feel I care about their child, then they are not going to support me at home or in the classroom. Positive relationships with the students and their parents will have lasting benefits.

References:

      Laureate Education, Inc. (Producer). (2010). Building Relationships and Partnering

            with Families[Video webcast]. Effective programs and practices. Retrieved from

https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_1373716_1%26url%3D 

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/relationship